Heat

Dry as a bone

Comfortable as a throne

Made of stone

Humid and sweaty

But cold I am not

The weather has become

Unbearably hot

Plants are wilting

The cat is tilting

As it lounges about in

the heat

My shirt is all damp

I smell like a tramp

And the heat haze shimmers

on the road

But it wont last forever

Because heat waves

They never

Go on for too long over here

But lo! What’s the matter?

A crash

A flash

A patter

Of rain

On the conservatory roof

The rain it rushes

Through the gutter it gushes

And gone in an instant

The heat

The Binmen

Here come the men to take

Away the rubbish that I make

The clutter I want tossed onto the heap

In orange bibs they’re dressed

Slung casual o’er their vest

With Daventry District Council

Writ ‘cross their van

They make an awful racket

But take home a tidy packet

To spend on treats and holidays abroad

They hoist up the bins

Onto the lorry’s rear pins

Which empties their contents

In to the void

In will go the shoes

The empty bottles of booze

The boxes and detritus from the sink

The mouldy old kipper

A half chewed slipper

And all the things that really

Start to stink

Then down the street they’ll go

In rain or sleet or snow

And take away the waste from the house

The truck gets emptied out

The socks, the box and trout

To end their days as debris

In the ground

The Office Goblin (A Poem)

I am the office goblin

I live under your desk

I eat up all your paper clips

And I like to look grotesque

I pinch and hide your stapler

I break your pencil tips

I move your paperwork about

And snaffle bulldog clips

I am he that Wipes your white board

He that alters your chair

Deleting important computer files

Especially when you’re not there

I leave crusty bits in your collegues mug

And push the blame on you

Put finger marks on your monitor

And leave the lids off glue

I am the office goblin

Treat me good and right

Keep a look out for me

When you head off home tonight

Cat (A poem)

Cat! Cat!

What are you doing?

You’re in a carrier bag

You best not be pooing

Cat! Cat!

Get out of there

I need that bag

For my underwear

Cat! Cat!

You soft black brute

How can I be angry

When you are so cute?