Sunday, 16 March 2008

As requested by the remarkable <lj user="das_clive">

Pot-Roasted Loin of Pork with Apple

You will need:

4lb Boned loin of pork (I used a 1lb joint with bones)

1/2 pint Dry Cider (I used Magners)

1/4 pint of Sour Cream (I used greek yoghurt)

1 1/2tsp of salt

For the Stuffing

1 oz Butter (local)

1 small onion (local) chopped

2 oz White bread crumbs (I used granary bread)

2 apples (I used 1) chopped

2 oz raisins

Finely grated rind of 1 orange (I used chopped orange rind)

Pinch of ground cloves

salt & pepper


1. Preheat the oven to 220°C (Gas mark 7). In a frying pan melt the butter and sauté the onions for 10 minutes then add the rest of the stuffing ingredients.

2. With the pork rind side down make a horizontal cut between the meat and the fat to make a pocket

3. Stuff the pocket with the stuffing. Roll joint up and tie with string. Score rind with sharp knife

4. Pour the cider and cream into a large casserole. Stir to combine then add the pork RIND SIDE DOWN. Cook in oven uncovered for 30 minutes.

5. Turn joint over so rind is facing upwards. Baste and sprinkle rind with salt. Cook for a further hour basting at 30 minutes.

6. Reduce heat to 180°C (Gas mark 4) and cook for a further 90 minutes.

7. Remove from oven and allow to rest for 20 minutes before carving.


Technorati : :

Zooomr :

Flickr :

Thursday, 13 March 2008

Dog's dinner.

Caught the bus into Uni this morning with the intent of having a few pints after classes this afternoon. When you catch the peasant wagon not only are you crammed into a oblong metal box with the great unwashed, but you get to hear the various conversations that go on around. They're like social snap shots at times.

This morning I was torn between two gents discussing their various civil penalties (magistrate court fines, community service etc) and a group of girls bitching about some Cassanova who has been putting it about unbeknownst to his current squeeze.

However, as usual the best conversation is always left until last.

**phone rings**

Girl One I'll be there in two minutes. Am just on the bus....ok see you in a bit **hangs up phone** Fucking two faced bitch

Girl Two No. That was two faced.

Girl Three LOLZ0RZZZ

Technorati : , : ,

Zooomr : ,

Flickr : ,

Saturday, 8 March 2008

Slightly improved poetry by Stegzy Gnomepants.


Stop your incessant whining

You furry mosquito

You're pestering me for food or drink

Or maybe a burrito

You're prowling round the room

Yipping and yowling

You jump up on my desk

When pushed off you start growling

You are an impatient cat

You've only just been fed

It's not your tea for quite some time

So go curl up on t' bed

You're nudging my hand

You're tripping up my feet

Oh for fuck sake you annoying cat

Here! Have a plate of meat.

Technorati : :

Zooomr :

Flickr :

Thursday, 6 March 2008

Custard - A poem by Stegalopolis Gnomopantalon


Yellow and gloopy

Yellow and runny

Yellow and lumpy

Yellow and funny

Custard I love you

Custard you're great

Hot in a bowl

Cold on a plate

I like you with pie

I like you quite thick

I like you with jelly

Though some think that sick

But custard oh custard

You yellowly majestic confection

I love you so much

You give me an erection infection

Other poems by the same author

Technorati : :

Zooomr :

Flickr :

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

A poem by Stegzy Gnomepants aged 34 & 1/3

You lie on your back

Stretch yourself thin

You turn back your head

I tickle your chin

You lie on the bed

Pretending to sleep

Curled up tight

A soft little heap

I open a tin

You rush to my side

The toffees and chocolates

I just can't hide

You brush up against me

Or play with my lace

Nuzzle your nose

Into my face

For you are a tiger

Or so you might think

You're really a puss cat

Curled up in the sink

Ah thankyou.

Technorati : :

Zooomr :

Flickr :

Tuesday, 4 March 2008

Bacon - a poem by t'Gnomepants




Fat soaked



In a pan

Flip it





The room





Of bread



Salad Cream

Ah thankyou

Technorati : :

Zooomr :

Flickr :

Saturday, 1 March 2008

Rhubarb - A Crap Poem by Stegzy Gnomepants (poet laureate)


Oh Rhubarb!

Let me hold thee by the stem

Let me experience your aroma

Let me behold your magnificence

For it is thee that tempts me

With custard

Not Mustard

But yea spices such as nutmeg

Or with cream

Long, pink, slender stems

Droopy green parasol leaf

Lightly stewed

Served with beef

Rhubarb! Oh Rhubarb!

Technorati : :

Zooomr :

Flickr :