Sunday 16 March 2008

As requested by the remarkable <lj user="das_clive">






Pot-Roasted Loin of Pork with Apple




You will need:




4lb Boned loin of pork (I used a 1lb joint with bones)


1/2 pint Dry Cider (I used Magners)


1/4 pint of Sour Cream (I used greek yoghurt)


1 1/2tsp of salt




For the Stuffing




1 oz Butter (local)


1 small onion (local) chopped


2 oz White bread crumbs (I used granary bread)


2 apples (I used 1) chopped


2 oz raisins


Finely grated rind of 1 orange (I used chopped orange rind)


Pinch of ground cloves


salt & pepper




Method




1. Preheat the oven to 220°C (Gas mark 7). In a frying pan melt the butter and sauté the onions for 10 minutes then add the rest of the stuffing ingredients.


2. With the pork rind side down make a horizontal cut between the meat and the fat to make a pocket


3. Stuff the pocket with the stuffing. Roll joint up and tie with string. Score rind with sharp knife


4. Pour the cider and cream into a large casserole. Stir to combine then add the pork RIND SIDE DOWN. Cook in oven uncovered for 30 minutes.


5. Turn joint over so rind is facing upwards. Baste and sprinkle rind with salt. Cook for a further hour basting at 30 minutes.


6. Reduce heat to 180°C (Gas mark 4) and cook for a further 90 minutes.


7. Remove from oven and allow to rest for 20 minutes before carving.




Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm




Technorati :

Del.icio.us :

Zooomr :

Flickr :

Thursday 13 March 2008

Dog's dinner.

Caught the bus into Uni this morning with the intent of having a few pints after classes this afternoon. When you catch the peasant wagon not only are you crammed into a oblong metal box with the great unwashed, but you get to hear the various conversations that go on around. They're like social snap shots at times.




This morning I was torn between two gents discussing their various civil penalties (magistrate court fines, community service etc) and a group of girls bitching about some Cassanova who has been putting it about unbeknownst to his current squeeze.




However, as usual the best conversation is always left until last.




**phone rings**


Girl One Hiya.......yeah....no I'll be there in two minutes. Am just on the bus....ok see you in a bit **hangs up phone** Fucking two faced bitch


Girl Two No. That was two faced.


Girl Three LOLZ0RZZZ




Technorati : ,

Del.icio.us : ,

Zooomr : ,

Flickr : ,

Saturday 8 March 2008

Slightly improved poetry by Stegzy Gnomepants.

Hunger




Stop your incessant whining


You furry mosquito


You're pestering me for food or drink


Or maybe a burrito




You're prowling round the room


Yipping and yowling


You jump up on my desk


When pushed off you start growling




You are an impatient cat


You've only just been fed


It's not your tea for quite some time


So go curl up on t' bed




You're nudging my hand


You're tripping up my feet


Oh for fuck sake you annoying cat


Here! Have a plate of meat.




Technorati :

Del.icio.us :

Zooomr :

Flickr :

Thursday 6 March 2008

Custard - A poem by Stegalopolis Gnomopantalon


Custard




Yellow and gloopy


Yellow and runny


Yellow and lumpy


Yellow and funny


Custard I love you


Custard you're great


Hot in a bowl


Cold on a plate


I like you with pie


I like you quite thick


I like you with jelly


Though some think that sick


But custard oh custard


You yellowly majestic confection


I love you so much


You give me an erection infection







Other poems by the same author




Technorati :

Del.icio.us :

Zooomr :

Flickr :

Wednesday 5 March 2008

A poem by Stegzy Gnomepants aged 34 & 1/3

You lie on your back


Stretch yourself thin


You turn back your head


I tickle your chin




You lie on the bed


Pretending to sleep


Curled up tight


A soft little heap




I open a tin


You rush to my side


The toffees and chocolates


I just can't hide




You brush up against me


Or play with my lace


Nuzzle your nose


Into my face




For you are a tiger


Or so you might think


You're really a puss cat


Curled up in the sink





Ah thankyou.




Technorati :

Del.icio.us :

Zooomr :

Flickr :

Tuesday 4 March 2008

Bacon - a poem by t'Gnomepants

Bacon




Crispy


Frying


Fat soaked


Goodness


Sizzling


In a pan




Flip it


Over


Cooking


Aroma


Permeates


The room




Sandwiched


Betwixt


Two


Slices


Of bread




Garnished


Atop


Salad Cream






Ah thankyou




Technorati :

Del.icio.us :

Zooomr :

Flickr :

Saturday 1 March 2008

Rhubarb - A Crap Poem by Stegzy Gnomepants (poet laureate)



Rhubarb


Oh Rhubarb!


Let me hold thee by the stem


Let me experience your aroma


Let me behold your magnificence


For it is thee that tempts me


With custard


Not Mustard


But yea spices such as nutmeg


Or with cream


Long, pink, slender stems


Droopy green parasol leaf


Lightly stewed


Served with beef


Rhubarb! Oh Rhubarb!



Technorati :

Del.icio.us :

Zooomr :

Flickr :